Let’s Talk! Difficult Conversations Part 1 - November 2024
Summary
Part 1 of Difficult Conversations explored foundational groundwork that will empower and equip our relationships with Lived Experts for difficult conversations. Attention was given to the role that boundaries play and finding the “how much” between “yes” and “no” answers. We look forward to continuing to explore this topic with you next month in Difficult Conversations Part 2.
Soundbites & Takeaways We Loved!
We have to feel safe before we can fully give and receive love
Boundaries can be understood as being fear-based or love-based (see the “What Porcupines Teach Us About Boundaries” video below).
What if boundaries are more than just a yes or just a no, but a “how much”?
We can follow feelings of resentment to uncover areas in our life where we may need to set boundaries to protect our relationships.
There are many mutual benefits of setting boundaries
What is your body telling you? Our bodies often can tell us what we need or something we need to attend to.
“Tough love” approaches are likely to harm relationships with Lived Experts
It’s never too late to start having foundational conversations about boundaries to prepare us for difficult conversations
Our boundaries are also a guidepost for us to know what we need to follow through on, as the presenter modelled “If I am going to give you any kind of promises, those promises to have to be kept. If there is something I am hopeful for but can’t promise I need to be truthful about that to. I don’t know what this outcome will be, but I can try my best.”
There are 7 types of boundaries: time, material, emotional, mental, internal, conversation, physical (see the “7 Types of Boundaries” slide before for examples).
When we can’t do all that our Lived Expert needs or wants, we can ask “How else can I meet that need?”
Q-T.I.P.! Quit Taking It Personally! See the slide below for details!
Conversations don’t always need to be big, they can also be small, inquisitive chats over time. See opportunities to talk about it using situations in the world around you.
Become someone who handles hard better, see the video below!
Actionable Ideas & Activities
Determine 3 – 5 values and reflect on response when violated or threatened, ask for and give consideration to what may be on the list of the Lived Expert in your life.
Reflect on where your boundaries come from (see “Where did my boundaries come from?” slide below)
Do a self-assessment (see “Self Assessment” slide below)
Watch What Porcupines Teach Us About Boundaries Video
Watch Handle Hard Better Video
Great Visuals From This Session
